Thank you so much for stopping in and spending some of your time with me as I continue to encourage you in the Lord by use of my continual testimony. You are a Gorgeous soul and you deserve to learn more about your Heavenly Father and how he LOVES YOU SIS! You know.. I find myself listening to Gospel/Inspirational music and something is different. Most of these songs I have heard before, but now they actually have meaning in my life. Sometimes I cry when I hear someone sing something along the lines of :
It don't feel good
But growing never does
It don't seem fair
For you to call this love
But if necessary pain
Is the ingredient for change
Even when life may be bittersweet
Its working
Just for me
- "Just for Me" by Kirk Franklin.. Please go to Youtube and listen as soon as you finish reading todays blog entry Sis. It will help assist you in your walk and the pains of spiritually detoxing from the narcissist! I feel the same exact way when I read certain scriptures in the Bible. When I realized that we all are aching and hurting from the same absence of God its comforting. YOU ARE NOT ALONE SIS! We are all on our own unique journeys towards finding the missing pieces to connect us back to our Heavenly Father. When I begin to journal and write down my thoughts, feelings, and prayers something burst open within me. I would begin to write and before I knew it, I'd written pages of descriptive release accompanied by tears. My spirit was awakening as I wrote out my prayers and questions as I knew my Father was there listening and watching as I stripped myself of all barriers and released every single hurting thing within me in prayer. I could trust Him with my broken things.
I begin to develop a lethal prayer life Sis! Everyday I found the time to write out my prayers. Sometimes I found myself writing about the painful moments in my childhood and past. The more I wrote on those pages , the more I felt release. Those things no longer begin to have such a death hold on my emotions, thoughts, and they were losing their power over me. I begin to pray and ask God to heal me from not only what this man has done to me, but from every single hurtful thing done to me. I also prayed for forgiveness for the less than kind things that I have done to others as well. I desired to be healed universally. (There will be books written in the near future Sis as I have kept all of these journals!)
I find myself in a constant state "of praise" because I know what my Heavenly Father delivered me from! He single handedly delivered me from my own poisoned mindsets and beliefs. These were the key things that the enemy used to keep me in mental bondage and being abused by demonically possessed individuals such as the Narcissist. God helped me to realize that I participated in my abuse because I believed the lies that the enemy told me. How did he tell me these lies? The lies were told to me by people! When people mistreat you, reject you, abandon you, neglect you, sexually abuse/molest you, bully you etc. these things create the false thoughts/lies that are planted in your subconscious mind and follow you in life. This facilitates the abuse you accept in various forms as you journey on in life. I know all too well the tears I've cried feeling useless, hopeless, unwanted, unpretty, unloved and ultimately feeling like whatever decided to stay.. I should hold on to. I wonder who else can relate to these lies we believe about ourselves? Sis you do understand that Satan is the "Father of Lies."(John 8:44) Lets keep that in mind at all times. I can recall the times I wanted to leave the relationship, but then the lies would start to play in my mind. The enemy disguised as my own thoughts telling me " If you leave him you are going to be alone raising your daughter", "Every one has relationship problems, if you leave do you really think the next relationship will be perfect?", or " He is really sorry this time so forgive him remember his dad wasn't in his life to teach him how to be a man so continue to teach him through loving him." Do you see how absolutely INSANE that even reads on this blog? Yet we do this to ourselves time and time again and create the very environment for us to continue being abused in.
This is why I am in such a never-ending state of bliss when I think about the goodness of the Lord. He really delivered me from myself! Once he opened my mind, soul, and spirit up to see what was really happening to me... CHAINS BROKE! I read these scriptures and begin to cry tears of relief/joy because someone else shared the same sentiments as me. Psalms 34:1-8 says "I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make her boast in the Lord: the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad. O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together. I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed. This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them. O TASTE AND SEE THAT THE LORD IS GOOD: Blessed is the man that trusteth in him."
Just as we would be tempted to just taste one of those delicious treats in todays Blog image, we should taste and see just how good our Heavenly Father is. He actually desires to help us! He knows we are beaten down in our spirits and that we are wasting away spiritually without any relief in sight when we don't have him. He cares about our tears, our fears, that gut wrenching pain that aches so deep.. I'm sure we can't even determine its location at times. Not one day goes by that I don't praise his Holy Name! I'm only free in every way imaginable due to Him coming to my aid and rescue. I could have been another forgotten internet story about domestic violence and how my estranged fiancé killed me. My name would have easily been forgotten as so many are. My God given purpose never fulfilled and dying in sin never knowing who God was and satisfying satan as he claimed my soul...and I would've spent eternity in hell. my soul (mind. will. and emotions) forever in torments... THE DEVIL IS A LIAR IN JESUS NAME!!
Please choose life.. and choose it abundantly in Jesus Christ today Sis. If you love sweets like I do.. You'd probably sample at least two or three treats on this beautiful dessert spread. I want you to know that you should "TASTE AND SEE THAT THE LORD IS GOOD!" He is much sweeter than the ENTIRE dessert spread. Don't keep feeding yourself the poison of this Narcissistic relationship anymore Sis.
I love you so much and I love your soul even more and I want you to be saved. Please invite the Lord into your heart and I promise you that he will do amazing things with it. You will breathe for the first time as he rejuvenates your entire being!
*** PLEASE UTILIZE THE CONTACT FORM ON MY BLOG WEBSITE TO SEND ME PERSONAL PRAYER REQUESTS, ADVICE ABOUT YOUR SITUATION, AND PERSONAL QUESTIONS. I WILL RESPOND AS TIME PERMITS SIS AS I AM A PRAYER WARRIOR/INTERCESSOR FOR CHRIST. I LOVE YOU SIS AND BE BLESSED!***
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