Hey Sis.. I have a question for you. I want you to be completely honest. This is going to help you I promise. How do I know ? Well, because we all share a lot of similarities and this really helped me when I grasped this concept. Have you ever found yourself in a situation within your relationship or past relationship in which you asked the person a particular question and the response was " Well, I didn't ask you to do this for me." I'm sure most of us have received this type of response when you tried to note that you desired to be treated the same way in which you have treated them. It's only natural I suppose to expect someone to be considerate of you when you are considerate of them. I found myself completely exhausted in that relationship due to years of putting him and his family first. I ran myself completely in the mud trying to accommodate the excessive needs of all of them.
The dynamics of that family was definitely narcissistic because as I heal I was able to see that not only did my ex take me for a ride, his family did as well. I was actually disrespected in many ways from his family. Due to my blinded brokenness and desperation for a sense of family, I endured the abuse of his family as well. My kindness and desire to help was grossly taken advantage of. I gave excessively to help his family in various times of need. I remember once that my sister needed to have an emergency surgery and that night he planned to watch a stay at home movie and popcorn date night. He was livid and flew into a narcissistic rage because I chose to stay with my sister while she went under for surgery. When I mentioned the various times I was there to help his family in need his response was "Well, I didn't ask you to!"
I couldn't believe that he actually said that and he was very serious and angry. Narcissists want to isolate you from your family. They want to consume your life because in all actuality this is not a relationship. It is a prison and they are the prison guard . This naturally makes you the prisoner. This was never about love, but about erosion, slavery, torment, and torture covered in date nights and occasional romantic moments. As I reflected upon the different episodes throughout those seven years, sometimes I cried. These were tears of joy due to God rescuing me and opening my eyes to what I wasn't able to see while living in bondage and darkness. I can't believe that I believed this person loved me and that I was going to marry someone who felt everything that was the opposite of love towards me.
My deficiencies caused me to yield to abuse. I didn't know my worth and value and I had been trained by the enemy to believe that I had to perform for love and that I needed to accept what was presented because it was all that was available for me. I gave continuously of myself in every way possible to someone who didn't deserve my time, heart, or consideration. This person accessed the type of genuine heart that I had years ago coupled with my loss of spiritual identity. I was exploited because of these things and also because I could never make the connection due to my "need" of what his love, acceptance, and validation provided me with. It all kept me confined in that demonic prison and constantly being the brunt of his assaults in various forms.
Sis, what you are really looking for is the proper execution of the Golden Rule that is referenced in the bible. I find it interesting that even without reading the bible thoroughly, I found myself naturally adhering to its teachings. That is because God is a part of us even when we don't acknowledge Him or even recognize it. This person wasn't able to relate because inside of them an evil spirit is residing. In Matthew 7:12 it says "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." Narcissists are very selfish and would never truly treat you the way that they desire to be treated. I am just so very happy that I am no longer the old version of myself who couldn't see that I was being used and abused due to my separation from God and His Love. I learned that this person was only capitalizing from my broken heart, traumas, and my not being aware that I am a DOTMHGOI and deserved far better than what I was receiving in that relationship.
Please don't allow Satan to attack you in this relationship and in your mind another day. He has hidden himself well in our lives for generations as women. I am exposing him today and I desire that you see yourself in a different light. You can do this as you continue to develop in your relationship with God. It's so interesting to me that my solution for every problem was right here in front of me this entire time. This world , which is oppressed by Satan as the god of this fallen world, has done a good job of tricking us into believing that either God isn't real, the bible isn't real, or to follow its teaching is outdated or unrealistic. We have been conditioned to think that God is a tyrant who wants everyone not to enjoy life( carelessly sin) and is looking to punish you. This is all so strategic as satan knows if you ever decide to seek God you will find out the TRUTH! That He is loving, caring, warm, and He wants to heal and save you.
Satan hates you and he shows you in this abusive relationship. He showed it when he lured Adam and Eve to sin which introduced us all to the horrible things we all have faced in this life as human beings.He wants to continue to kill, steal, and destroy and to do so undetected. God knows how he has created us as women. He knows how he has designed us to feel, operate, function, and our desires. Come back home to the Kingdom and allow him to restore and affirm your soul Sis! Satan wants you to experience hell on earth (abusive relationships) and to die in your sins so that you can experience torments in hell for an eternity. Choose today to come back home to the Kingdom of God where you belong. When you realize you are Royalty, you will never play the role of a conditioned slave. Crown up Sis! Be blessed!
Please utilize the contact form on my blog website to send me personal prayer request, advice about your situation, and personal questions I will respond as time permits.Sis as I am a prayer warrior/intercessor for Christ I love you sis and be blessed!
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