Hey Sis! Thank you so very much for taking a moment of your time to spend with me. I am dedicated to the call that God has placed on my life and I sincerely do care about your well being. Most women who find themselves in abusive relationships are highly empathetic or what is termed as an empath. The most simple way to define an empath is someone who is very sensitive towards the needs of others and deeply moved by compassion to help. Often times a highly empathic person can actually "feel" or "sense" the pain or hurt of others within themselves and will do all that they can to help, fix, or solve the problems that others are experiencing. In due time you will come to learn that this attribute is one of the things that attracted the narcissist to you in the first place. It was all a ploy of manipulation, deception, and to subtly abuse you.
As I started to create a small routine of devotion and spending time journaling and praying I begin to notice something. The more that I shared the things that broke me, made me cry, and caused me to feel worthless, Jesus begin to restore me. I would have these moments of deep introspection as I prayed. You're probably wondering.. Sis how does that even look? This sounds a little hard to believe. Well as you grow in your relationship and awareness of Kingdom Royal Status, you start to notice how divinely you've been created. When I would talk to God about feeling so empty, worthless, and alone my mind would go back into my memories and I thought about or relived in my imagination the very first time I felt alone. I went back to my childhood and being bullied in school. Almost every day there were kids picking on me due to my appearance, lack of nice clothing, or because someone found out that I lived in an impoverished community. We know today that children are committing suicide due to bullying and I am here to confirm that it is a spiritual attack!
I would then envision or remember the lack of love, warmth, or comfort from my mother. I grew up witnessing and enduring varying degrees of abuse which seemed to be normalized and therefore no one really spoke about it or its effects. I encountered perverted older men who took advantage of my broken state and desperate need or desire for love and acceptance as well. As I thought about these "entry points" Jesus began to show me that these were the initial seeds that were planted that caused me to feel the way that I had all my life. They also helped shape my perception of myself and lured me into believing that I was unworthy, unloved, and that I needed to conform in many ways in order to receive what I was looking for. I was desperate for love, inclusion, and acceptance.
God began to speak to me and show that before I came back home to His Kingdom, I had spent all of my years operating and functioning from those demonic seeds that were planted. These things caused me to seek solutions from people and places that only contributed more to my brokenness under the disguise of " LOVE INCLUSION and ACCEPTANCE". Sis, the Enemy knows exactly what you're in need of because he CREATED the need! He had me in such a sick cycle for years and I couldn't see it until God opened my spiritual eyes and I saw just how cruel Satan is. I want to encourage you to PRAY! God hears your prayers and He speaks to you in amazing ways.
I would spend this type of time with my Heavenly Father daily and sometimes multiple times a day when I was still praying for God to deliver me from this man and his abuse. Although I was still in the same natural environment, I was no longer there spiritually! He would still come home and try to engage in the same abusive narcissistic tactics, but my eyes were opened and God was healing me right in the midst of my abuser. My developing in my relationship caused my power to be strengthened and He noticed this as well. He started to shift into extreme lovebombing mode and the tears and pleas became excessive and more theatrical than I had ever witnessed throughout the entire 7 years with him. I saw the desperation as he tried to regain control. I was being set free SIS!!
Listen to me when I say... It was all a LIE Sis! Your broken state and operating from the evil seeds planted early in your life is truly needed in order to keep you enslaved in your mind. The evil spirit in this person can not reign over you when you are awakened as a DOTMHGOI and you have given your life back to Jesus! You begin to see that everything that you have been looking for or have been deprived of, it is in Jesus and He will never mistreat you in exchange for love as you have been in this relationship. The moment that I begin to seek God and learn about HIm, I begin to learn about myself. I saw how the enemy orchestrated all of this by use of sin, abuse, trauma, and my ignorance of my Royal Family in Heaven and my King , The Most High God of Israel. I encourage you today Sis.. Cry out to your Father in prayer, He is the only one who can rescue you, restore you, and heal everything that is painful or broken in your soul! Give your life back to Jesus today and refuse to accept the sadistic "love" of a narcissist. You are worth more than that Sis! I love you and be blessed.
Please utilize the contact form on my blog website to send me personal prayer request, advice about your situation, and personal questions I will respond as time permits.Sis as I am a prayer warrior/intercessor for Christ I love you sis and be blessed!
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